Make the caregiver conversation concrete
Send the exact title and year, plus any alternative you are considering. Ask whether there is anything important to know about the planned viewing, rather than asking for a broad judgment about whether the child is mature. Keep the conversation about the activity and practical accommodations. If the caregiver has a limit, acknowledge it plainly. You do not need to debate the reasoning or report it to the group as the obstacle to their first choice.
Give children choices inside the agreement
Once the adults have settled the available options, let the children vote or take turns choosing from that list. Explain the boundary as the plan for this sleepover: “These are our movie choices tonight.” Keep another activity ready for anyone who does not want to watch. Do not ask the visiting child to call home in front of everyone to seek an exception. Social pressure can make an apparently simple permission request uncomfortable for the child and caregiver.
Handle a change without improvising permission
If the children request a different film, use the agreed backup unless you can check the change appropriately. Silence from a caregiver is not approval. If a scene unexpectedly bothers someone, pause and offer privacy to decide what they want next. After the visit, share relevant practical information without dramatizing the reaction. A short note that the group switched to a board game can help the next host plan while preserving the child’s dignity.